What I've Learned From Great Leaders in My Life

If there's anything you will learn in life about being a leader, it is that a leader is someone who is comfortable in his/her own skin. I always used to think that leaders would always be the people who had ALL of the answers and knew their way around everything so that everyone else would follow them. But recently, as I worked closely with the director for this year's Cambodian Culture Night, I learned that he did not always have the answers, and he was not the good-at-everything, perfect person I used to define as a leader. What he did have that set him apart from others was the capability to organize time and resources, and to communicate with others affectively so that his weaknesses were countered by his ability to produce an environment where everyone could cooperate affectively, fill in the gaps, and produce great results. The show was a success because of his ability to delegate, to oversee, and to inspire and bring out the best in others and their ability. He was a leader of a TEAM. He made the team a functional unit by having a clear-cut vision of what how he wanted the team to work, and the types of results that they would produce. There are different types of leaders, but there are some qualities that are universal among them. It is the person who knows what he or she wants, and knows exactly how he or she wants it to look. And I would never place a leader on a pedestal. He or she is just like everyone else. We are all leaders. The difference is that, the stand-out leader is the person willing to be held accountable if and when things go haywire.

My hero is Becky Lee. I'm sure we all have our role models. Becky Lee was a finalist in one of the Survivor seasons, although, I can't recall which. She is a trial lawyer in Los Angeles and a kickboxing instructor. But mostly, I admire her as the founder of Becky's Fund, which is an organization that fights against domestic violence against women. I had a chance to meet her personally and she is absolutely amazing. And then there's Somaly Mam. A Cambodian ex-prostitute who fights against others like herself who were victims to to sex trade in Southeast Asia. Martin Luther King Jr, Whina Cooper, Angela Oh -- there is a rich history of leaders behind us and those around us now.

I'd love to hear how you define a leader, and who influenced your definition of a leader. I'm sure all of us have met one person or another who has truly transformed our perspective on what makes a great leader.