How Kindness is Taken for Weakness on the Job

By Uyen Ha

While checking my e-mail on AOL one day, I stumbled upon an article titled “On the Job, Nice Guys May Finish Last”. It discussed a study done by Christine M. Riordan, Ph.D. and her colleagues that found being too nice a trait that actually hinders one’s chances of moving up the corporate ladder and could also affect one’s effectiveness as a leader. After reading it, I knew I wanted to blog about this. Aside from its catchy title, this article was particularly interesting to me because I was never known as the nice girl; others, as well as myself, always knew I was the assertive, don’t-take-crap from people kind of girl. My friend once said that assertive women are often called ugly words, but now there’s something wrong with being too nice, too?

The article explained that being too nice just doesn’t get the job done. In the corporate world, you have to deal with difficult issues and situations like firing people, giving criticism, etc and to do that, one must not be afraid to tell the truth even if it hurts someone’s feelings, to help the business. “It has been proved that when "nice" leaders fail to manage conflicts, make hard decisions or deal with problem subordinates or areas, they are often accused of not providing strong leadership, lacking courage or just frankly needing to be tougher,” states Dr. Riordan. By being too nice, there is a chance others may take kindness for weakness, so you must also be able to speak up for yourself.
It also explained that the opposite was not the answer. There must be a balance between everything, because anything in excess is bad—even money. So what do we do? We’re supposed to choose which is appropriate for each situation. Yes, being nice is important, but standing up for yourself and your beliefs and making the hard decisions are just as important.
What I learned from this article is that assertiveness is not the only trait I should have to try to become the most effective leader. It is important to be able to utilize whichever trait the situation calls for. You don’t want to get the job done, but have everyone hate you, but you also don’t want everyone to like you and sacrifice your job or leadership for it.